Star Trek Enterprise: The Continuing Story
by enterprisefan13
Summary: As we all know, These Are The Voyages was not cannon. Although there is a book series I like, this is also another idea of how it could have gone. I have read many stories, which were all good, but did loud declarations of love did not fit with my vision of them. Take a look for yourself, and let me know what you think!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

They say the death of a child does one of two things for a couple. Either it brings them closer, or it tears them apart.

XXX

Although it had been a week since Elizabeth's death, Trip could have sworn it had only been a day. Even as he sat on his bed in his quarters, it felt like time had stopped. The funeral had been held two days after her death, in a private ceremony. Although the delegates had requested to be present at the funeral, he and T'Pol decided that it would be best to have the ceremony privately. Vulcans tended to be private people anyway, and the presence of the delegates would have attracted the media, who were already chomping at the bit to get a glimpse of the "half-breed" baby. Instead, baby Elizabeth's funeral was attended by those who had felt she was family from the moment they discovered her existence, even though they only knew her for mere hours. The crew of _Enterprise_ had sat in a room around the tiny coffin, their heads bowed in silence, tears rolling down the faces of many.

If he was really honest with himself, he didn't remember any of the funeral. The faces of the crew blurred together in his mind, their words meshing together. "Sorry for your loss commander," "if you need to talk we're here." Their words had been meant to bring comfort, but they fell flat. They could try to offer words of comfort, but it was one thing to feel like you've lost a loved one, and to actually lose one. He not only lost a loved one, he lost a daughter. It was a pain that was indescribable, a pain that no one should have to experience. The decision to have a child had been taken out of his hands; just when he had fallen in love with this child, the universe had snatched her away. Trip pushed himself off his bed with a grunt. The only one who understood his pain, experienced the same pain, was T'Pol. He sighed, and ran a hand quickly through his hair. They hadn't exactly discussed what they were, if they were a "they." After Elizabeth's death, there hadn't been much time to talk. But the way she had stood by him, even though they did not touch, spoke volumes. If he couldn't come right and tell her how he felt now, then when the hell could he? For years they had skirted around what it was they exactly were. At times they tried to pretend there was nothing at all between them. But that never worked. Try as he might, his feelings came bubbling to the top. But they had never formally discussed exactly what they were, if anything. Sure they share a bond, but that had not move the discussion along, and now that Elizabeth passed away, it was all or nothing for Trip.

Trip pushed his hands down on his uniform, half attempting to flatten out wrinkles. He was not one for nervous energy, but he found himself full of anxiety. What was the worst that could happen? Her tell him that she didn't feel the same way? That couldn't be worse than watching her marry a man that he knew she didn't love. It couldn't be worse than dancing around their feelings about each other, and leaving every situation feeling more confused than finding answers. Anything was better than feeling that they couldn't move forward. They had been stuck for years; whenever it felt like they could take a step forward, the universe seemed to push them a step backwards again. For the first time, Trip would know where they stood, whether they would try to work out whatever this was, or if they would, for the final time, decide they were going to part ways. He took one last glance in the mirror, adjusted his collar, and set out of his quarters, filled with anxiety, but determination. This was it, one way or another, Commander Charles Tucker III would finally have his answer.

XXX

Trip's confidence did not waver as he pressed the chime on T'Pol's door. He took a step back and waited for a reply. The seconds ticked by without a response, and he felt the beginnings of trepidation. T'Pol was not one to keep anyone waiting. If she was busy, she would let the potential guest know; this behavior was out of character for her. He hit the chime again, his anxiety growing. More seconds ticked by as his anxiety hit a new peak. He thought back to the last time she had taken so long to reply; he had found her unconscious on the floor of her quarters, attacked by Rajin. Thoughts came flying into his head, what if she was injured or dead? What if a Terra Prime operative had gotten aboard and somehow found her quarters? Just as he was reaching to call for assistance, her voice came through her door, shakenly saying, "Come in." Trip pressed the button quickly, stepping over her doorway, eagerly searching for her, his eyes roaming over her usual spots he quickly spotted her sitting over her meditation candle. He usually didn't disturb her when she was mediating, but it was obvious that she wasn't anyway. T'Pol was staring straight ahead, unshed tears in her eyes shining in the dim room. Trip took another step in, and when T'Pol didn't move, he sat down gently across from her, taking a posture he had learned during neuropressure. She did not flinch as he sat down, or even indicate that she had noticed his presence at all. In fact, her eyes seemed almost glassed over. Trip raised his hand and waved it past her face. 'Okay, this is getting kind of creepy.' He thought, and leaned forward to try to shake her out of whatever state she was in. Before he could even touch her however, T'Pol shook her head slightly, and her eyes focused on him.

"Trip?" She whispered, looking startled. He nodded, confused. Her eyes moved back and forth, like her mind was moving too fast for her to catch up. She closed her eyes for a moment, and took a deep stabilizing breath. Then she opened her eyes slowly and gazed at Trip. Her eyes did not stay in one place, but seemed to travel all over his face before settling on his eyes.

"You doin' okay?" Trip asked worriedly, taking her appearance fully in, now that she was closer to him. Although she didn't look disheveled, something still seemed off. Her eyes were puffy around the edges, and her eyes were wide, from lack of sleep, or meditation, who knows what. T'Pol snapped her body back quickly away from him.

"Of course, why would I not be?" She replied curtly. Trip felt a rush of anger. 'why I would I not be?' He wanted to get into her face and yell "I don't know, maybe because your daughter just died?! Don't ya feel anything?!" But taking a look at her face, the forlorn look in her eyes, he talked himself down.

"Look, I know ya too well. You can pretend that Elizabeth's death didn't affect ya, but…" He hesitated, coming to the sudden realization that maybe the ache in his heart was not only coming from him. Maybe it was shared. He pointed to his heart. "I can feel it T'Pol. Call me crazy, but I can feel your pain just as clearly as I can feel my own." She still seemed to be pulling her body away from him. He reached out a hand, and grabbed her hand that was closest to him. She stiffened for a moment, before grasping his hand in return. It was the first time they had touched since finding out Elizabeth's death had been caused by Paxton's doctors, not their genes. He stared at their grasped hands, wondering if he should really go through asking her what they were. It was bad enough that she had lost her daughter, but he couldn't put her through this at the same time. Maybe it just wasn't the time for this, not that any time seemed to be right time. Maybe there was no time for them, no matter how much he wanted there to be. T'Pol's hand grasped his tightly, and he looked up to meet her eyes. She was staring at him like she was mulling something over. She opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something, then seemed to rethink it, and started pulling away. Trip grasped her hand tighter. "It's okay, just tell me." He said, cocking his head to the side. T'Pol settled back, breathing evenly.

"I know you came here to discuss our relationship." She did not look up as she examined their hands. "I do not know if I have the answers you are seeking." T'Pol spoke softly, not sounding angry, just defeated.

"Just tell me if ya feel the same about me. If not I'll turn around and leave, and not bother ya again." Trip said earnestly. Silence followed his words, and he felt his heart sink. 'well, this is it.' He thought, putting his free hand behind him to push himself up. T'Pol's head moved quickly, and although she did not speak, Trip felt a tingling in the back of his mind, that seemed to match the look in T'Pol's eyes. He sat back down slowly, still not willing to risk putting himself back on the line. He could see her mulling over her thoughts, unsure if she should continue. Then, a what could only be described as a flame erupted in her eyes. He almost jumped back, thinking that she was gonna attack him. But instead, it was her words that contained the passion.

"Trip, you are my mate." T'Pol said, passionately, as though that described everything. Trip sighed, and ran a hand over his face.

"I told ya, we didn't 'mate'." T'Pol's eyes continued to smolder, but she also narrowed her eyes slightly. Trip scrambled to explain his choice of words slightly better. "On Earth, mating is like what animals do. It's not what two people who care about each other do. It just makes me think 'bout what I saw on my grandpa's farm, seeing two of his cows mating." He visibly shivered at the thought of equating what he and T'Pol did to he had seen the cows do. T'Pol raised an eyebrow at this, and he raised a hand defensively. "Not that I thought that's what Vulcans do or anything…" 'great, this conversation's heading somewhere awesome' He thought, and tried not to roll his eyes at himself.

"I see." T'Pol said. "I will attempt to refrain from using that phrase again." She paused again, as if searching for her words. Trip cocked his head to the side again, and pursed his lips. What was she hiding? Why did she call him her mate anyway? He squinted his eyes at her, feeling suspicious at her lack of conversation. Sure she wasn't much of a talker anyway, but this was downright artic. He and she could carry on a conversation easily, but this was probably the most awkward he had ever felt. T'Pol shifted, as if feeling his awkwardness. "I apologize if I am making you feel uncomfortable, that was not my intention." He waved a hand dismissively.

"You're not makin' me feel uncomfortable." In fact, she was the one who looked uncomfortable. The only time he had seen her look this out of her element was when she tried to talk about her relationships and feelings. She shifted again, and looked down at their clasped hands as though she had forgotten that they were still holding hands.

"Elizabeth's death had affected me in a way that I did not anticipate. Her death had made me reexamine priorities."

"Me too." He whispered. His heart beat faster. Was she going to say what he thought she was? His heart was beating so fast against his ribs that he thought that her ears could pick up the sound. The corner of his mouth began to twitch; her ears had always been a focus for him. But that wasn't the point; why hadn't she said anything more? He wanted to reach out and force her to look at him, to make her tell him what she was thinking. But he knew that she would get to it in her own time, as she always did.

"In the past year, I have lost two people very close to me. It has brought emotions to the surface that I am uncertain of."

'oh.' He thought, fearful she was going to push him away again in her grief, like she did after the death of her mother.

"These emotions of grief have… almost overwhelmed me. It is difficult for me to suppress them." She finally looked up at him again, her eyes almost sad. Trip felt that if she had been a human woman she would have been sobbing at that moment. "I do not believe I will be able to survive another loss so close to me." He almost gasped loudly at that moment, but put his hand over his face, and covered his mouth, then took it off, feeling that if he was going to say this, it had to be now.

"Ya mean my death would actually affect you?" T'Pol's eyes flashed with anger before she repressed it. "Every time I try to get close to ya, ya push me away. I can't go through that again T'Pol." Damn, he sounded desperate, and his voice caught on her name. T'Pol took a deep breath, as though she was calming her nerves, although she would never admit it.

"I want you to stay." She said, just as she had in the corridor that day, when the only care he had in the world was pullin her chain. But now, these words had deeper meaning. It hit him like a ton of bricks; she was afraid he was going to die; because she had lost everyone else in her life. And she was afraid of how it would affect her. "Trip…" She began.

But without a second's hesitation, he cupped her face and brought his lips to meet hers. While she seemed shocked at first, she responded in kind. They pulled away after a moment, and he could feel the tears gliding down his nose even as he had the biggest smile stretch across his face. T'Pol looked confused as she searched between his two eyes. "It's alright." He chuckled, and wiped away a tear on his cheek. "I'll stay."

A/N: Well, this took me forever to write. I am hoping to make it a multi-chapter, lt me know what you think! Also, I find those huge declarations of love so out of character for them, so I wanted to see if I could make it more like them! Let me know what you guys think of it all!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Sorry about the wait! I wanted to continue, but didn't know how! Let me know what you think!

XXXX

" **The best feeling is watching things finally fall into place after watching them fall apart for so long"**

XXXX

Chapter 2

Trip walked into the mess hall, a grin nearly splitting his face in two. He walked over to the dispenser and grabbed his normal morning coffee. A short distance away, Hoshi and Malcom were sitting eating breakfast before their shift began. Hoshi nudged Malcom, who looked up from his food with a grunt. She pointed at Trip who was now looking for someone to sit with. "What do you think he's in such a good mood for?" She questioned. Malcom shrugged, and went back to his eating, almost shoveling the food into his mouth. Trip was now walking over to the duo, the grin still on his face. He gestured to the free chair at their table.

"Is that seat free?" Trip asked.

"Please." Hoshi said, gesturing to the chair again. Trip sat down with a plop and began sipping from his coffee. Hoshi watched him closely. She was not only trained in verbal language, but also in nonverbal, including body language. To others it may sound a tad stalkerish watching crewmembers so closely, but it was fascinating to her. It was also something to do when all she was doing was sitting on the bridge. She had come to know the commander's body language well, even though he tended to vocalize his feelings anyway. After baby Elizabeth's death, she had seen his body shrink in stance, his chest was not prominently out, and his head hung low. And here there was a man in front of her who was sitting up straight, and his chest was puffed out like he was king of the world. From watching his body language over the last four years, she knew that could only be the result of one of three things. Either they had found a new vessel that needed him to tear it apart, or he had just gotten some news from home, like them shipping in his favorite food... but neither of those things were plausible. If they had found a new vessel the officers would have been notified, and they had been to Earth a short while ago. And she knew that wasn't a fun adventure. The only option then… yes. That must be it. Hoshi watched Trip's eyes as they moved slowly from his cup over to the door. Hoshi chanced a glance over her shoulder. T'Pol had just walked in the door and was grabbing her usual cup of morning tea. Her back was to Trip and she was reading a PADD. Trip's eyes only stayed on her form a moment, and then T'Pol had left the mess hall. "You seem to be in a good mood." She chanced. Trip glanced up at her quickly in shock. Then he looked back at his coffee, chuckling a little.

"Guess ya could say that." He said, shrugging. Hoshi tried to make eye contact with Malcom, but he was still looking down at his meal, not paying attention to the exchange.

"It's a good look on you, commander." She said, getting up from her seat. She pushed it in and then held onto the back of it. "You should try it on more often." She walked away from the table, grinning to herself.

As she walked away, Malcom finally looked up, a little surprised that she had left before he had. Usually they walked together to the bridge to begin their shift. He glanced over at Trip. "You know mate; you don't hide it very well."

"Hide what?" Trip murmured into the top of his coffee cup. Malcom had to roll his eyes at this.

"The fact that you have finally figured it out with T'Pol." Trip looked up quickly, his eyes wide. "The grin you're wearing is giving it away." He said with a chuckle. Trip leaned back in his seat and put his hands behind his head.

"I wouldn't say we've completely figured it out." Trip admitted with a sigh. Malcom bobbed his head in acknowledgement, picking at what was left of his meal.

"But you wouldn't say she's on the market, right?" Malcom teased, leaning in. Trip glared at him while Malcom put up his hands in defense. "You never rescinded that offer. Last I knew, and I quote 'there's nothing going on between us, if you're interested'." Trip did not answer, while Malcom continued to pick at his food. "You know, I thought it was obvious back in the Expanse. But that was before her wedding and your baby." He paused, then glanced quickly. Maybe he shouldn't have said that last part. He continued on quickly, "but then I saw how you guys acted during and after the funeral, and I realized it wasn't just you that felt that way. She felt that way too." He put down his fork and turned completely toward Trip. "After all the stuff the universe had thrown at you guys over the years, it's a thing to watch you finally get it together." Trip nodded, deep in thought.

"After tryin to force the pieces ta fit, it's kinda nice when they just do." He said, swishing what was left of his drink in his cup. Then he stood up and pushed his chair in. "Gotta get to the bridge, I'll catch you later." Malcom nodded, putting his utensils on his tray. He watched the commander as he left. That man did not know how lucky he was. Maybe he did. Malcom shoved his chair in. So many men on this ship wanted to be with T'Pol, dreamed of it, schemed it. But the only man she seemed to have any interest in was Trip. She could try to deny it with her cold tone and off putting behavior. But if any other woman even feigned interest in Trip, she was killing them with her glare. It was about time the two of them were getting together. After all the had been through, put each other through. Malcom pressed the button to leave the mess hall. Watching them finally fall into place made him believe that maybe love could flourish in the vast emptiness of space. He straightened his collar and made his way to the bridge.

XXX

Archer had to admit, they were trying hard to hide it. He attempted to hide his smirk behind his fork. He had invited them to the captain's mess for the first time since leaving Earth. He hadn't been sure how to approach it. No time was a good time to go back to business after the death of a child, but maybe going about business would help them heal. He wasn't sure.

He had been suspicious for years about the two of them, but had never had anything to go on. Sure there was a little flirting back and forth, but he had seen Trip flirt with plenty of women in his day. In fact, he had seen Trip's magic work on a few women on _Enterprise._ His suspicion grew as they met Trip and T'Pol's son from another timeline, but then he was too busy to think more about it. Now, he was certain. He looked between the two of them and placed his cup down. "The doctor told me that the moral on the ship seems to at its highest in months." Trip nodded and swallowed a mouthful of food.

"I would say so. We haven't had any big disasters or acts of war. We're just back to explorin'."

"I agree captain. Our original mission appears to back on course." T'Pol supplied, grabbing her glass. This had been going on almost all dinner. Archer would supply a small conversational piece, Trip would answer, and T'Pol would continue his answer. They did not supply their own conversational pieces or give a longer answer than necessary. In fact, they almost appeared to be squirming in their seats. T'Pol's was subtler, she switched which leg she crossed every few minutes and placed her hands in her lap to wring them every so often. Trip was squirming more obviously; he was almost wiggling in his seat. Archer poured some ice tea into his cup, then settled back into his seat.

"Your moral seems to be unnaturally high as well, commanders." Trip's hand froze as it made its way to his mouth. He turned his head slowly towards Archer, his mouth hanging open. "Which is surprising, considering all you've been through." Trip placed his fork down gently next to his plate and wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"Cap'n, let's just say that some things have made some problems seem small." He supplied; Archer could practically see the gears turning in his head. He was trying to work his way around what he was trying to say, without saying it. "What I mean to say, is that after losin' someone that close ta ya, ya realize ya shouldn't be so worried about other things." He finished lamely, looking down at his plate. T'Pol looked at him with almost pity before putting down her own fork.

"What Commander Tucker means is that we have grieved, in private. We will always mourn our daughter's loss. However; we must also recognize those things in life that sustain us. Or as Commander Tucker says, 'brings us joy'. After the loss of a child, one realizes what is important, and what is not."

"Yeah, what she said." Trip said, his voice cracking.

"Well, that's a beautiful way to put it Commander." Archer said, his own eyes filling with tears. He lifted his glass, "To Elizabeth." Trip shakenly raised his glass, and T'Pol raised hers only a moment later.

"To Elizabeth." They murmured, then took a sip of their own drinks. Archer looked affectionately at both people at his table. They had been through so much over the years. He watched them butt heads, and also work together like no other duo he had ever seen. If someone had told him four years ago that he'd be watching his top two officers fall in love, he'd have told them to get off his ship. Now, he had a front row seat. And for once, he was glad to see things falling together, not apart.

XXX

Trip sat in his room, looking at a picture of his sister, Elizabeth. Next to that picture was a new one, taken in the few hours the subject had been alive. Baby Elizabeth had been taken out of her incubator, and was laying on a blanket. Her head was turned slightly to the side, one pointed ear visible. He had only known her for a few slight hours, even T'Pol had known her longer. But the love he felt for her was as deep as the sincerest love he had ever felt for any single being. Well, except for one, perhaps. He looked over at his bed, at the sleeping Vulcan woman on it. He smiled slightly to himself. When Malcom had asked, Trip hadn't lied. They hadn't completely figured it out. Hell, he didn't know if they ever would. He was human, she was Vulcan. It had taken them four years just to admit they weren't a fling; it could take a decade for them to work one kink. But, as he looked at her sleeping form, he did know they had worked out one problem.

When she had asked him to stay, she had meant more than a minute, a day, or a week. She had meant a life time. It took some consistent loving insistence, but she finally admitted that she had not wanted to get to attached, considering his lifespan was nearly half of what hers was. He was likely to die a full hundred years before she did. He tried to explain that loving and losing was better than never loving at all. But that was hard to explain to someone who didn't really get human phrases. He said instead that if she was the only woman he got to love for the rest of his life, that was alright with him. He couldn't promise that he wouldn't die, but he would promise to stick around for as long as he could. And for now, that was enough.

She was right, he knew. He would die long before she did. But he had never felt like this about any other woman he had ever known. Not for the three girlfriends he had on Earth, or with the few women he met on _Enterprise_. How he felt about her was something that could not be quelled, not matter how hard he tried. It was something that could be used by others to get what they want; it already had been. When Paxton's soldier had held up the gun to T'Pol's head, Trip would have agreed to anything to protect her. It was not the first time, or likely last time, their relationship could be used in this way. T'Pol turned over in her sleep, her arm dangling over the side of the bed. Trip smiled at this action.

There were a thousand reasons why they shouldn't pursue this. Scratch that, a million. They both knew it. Trip placed the picture of Elizabeth gently down next the picture of Baby Elizabeth. These two figures in his life had made it possible for him and T'Pol to realize what they had in each other. Before Elizabeth died, he didn't understand his feelings about T'Pol. He didn't greatly dislike her, but hardly considered her his friend. It was through Elizabeth's death that he formed and developed a relationship with T'Pol. And their daughter, well, she made them realize that they could not fight what they knew all along. His eyes lingered on the pictures for a moment more before making his way to the bed, his eyes heavy with sleep. He climbed over T'Pol gently, trying to avoid waking her. As he settled in however; he felt her stirring. He put a hand on her arm as she began to stir awake. "Sorry T'Pol, I didn't mean ta wake ya. Go back ta sleep."

"Trip?" She questioned blearily. Trip kissed the top of her head. And she settled farther back into him, making herself the little spoon.

"It's alright. I'll be here in the mornin' when ya wake up." T'Pol nodded, burying her face into the bed. He silently chuckled to himself, burying his nose in her hair at the top of her head. 'Nothin' could be better than this.' Was his last conscious thought before falling into darkness.

A/N: So, I have found using quotes at the beginning really helps me when coming up with ideas. Tell me what you think about that, and if this was an okay chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

XXXXX

" **Love can't exist without fear. If the thought of losing someone doesn't scare you, then it's not love."**

XXXXX

Chapter 3

The bridge crew had never been so afraid of T'Pol in their lives. Sure, they had seen a few arguments between her and Captain Archer; and there was no end to her disputes with Commander Tucker. But this was more terrifying that any of those instances combined. T'Pol sat on the edge of the captain's chair, her back ramrod straight; her fingers grasping so tightly to the ends of the armrests that her hands looked like claws. The barely contained fury on her face made this situation even more terrifying for the bridge crew. They all held their breath as she finally responded to the person on the view screen.

"You will tell us where Commander Tucker and Captain Archer are." She said in a deadly calm voice. The face on the viewscreen grinned.

"Well, well. It seems that one of the missing crewmen is close to you, Vulcan." T'Pol did not change her posture in the slightest, and the crew's eyes were bouncing back and forth between the two. "Which is it? Captain Archer?" T'Pol did not flinch. The person on the screen examined T'Pol's face. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully with his forefinger and thumb. "I see… but it cannot be Commander Tucker. No… he is too human. I am sure that many human females have interest in him." T'Pol's grip tightened ever so slightly, so that her knuckles were now white. It seemed that the man on the screen had seen what he was looking for; and he clapped his hands together. "Ah, yes. It is the commander." He seemed thoughtful, resting his chin on his forefingers in front of him. "If you, and the starship you command do not deliver us 100 phase pistols and all of the dilithum you carry, the commander will die. You have twelve hours." Then the view screen went black. T'Pol turned to Lieutenant Reed, her eyes wide, but full of determination.

"Have a plan ready to rescue the captain and commander in four hours."

"Four hours?!" He began to exclaim, but stopped abruptly at the glare from T'Pol. He gulped and nodded. "Yes, of course." And skirted away quickly, exchanging a glance with Hoshi before the turbolift door closed behind him. The bridge was silent as they took in what had just occurred. T'Pol did not retake her position at the captain's chair, and was instead pacing the floor in front of it. Hoshi was the first one who took the chance of speaking up.

"Do you really think that we have a chance of getting them back without delivering the goods?" She asked in a small voice. T'Pol stopped pacing, and looked at Hoshi with a look that was both intense and frightened.

"All I do know is that if we do not, they will die. If we supply the weapons, they will likely kill Commander Tucker anyway. And if we do not, I have no doubt he will follow through with his promise." She shared a glance with all of the bridge crew. "If we do not have successful plan in place, then we will never see the commander alive again."

XXX

 _Two hours later…_

Malcom had come no closer to reaching a solution on rescuing his commanding officers. At this point, he felt like they should just rush in and shoot. He doubted that T'Pol would accept that plan. He sighed, and leaned forward on the console in front of him, burying his face in his arms. He should never have allowed those two to go down to the planet. The captain had found the planet, and had been insistent about going down.

 _*" Captain, I don't think this is a good idea." Malcolm said, crossing his arms over his chest. The captain swung back to look at him, the grin on his face dissipating slightly._

" _What do you mean Malcolm? Looks safe enough to me." Malcolm uncrossed his arms._

" _We know nothing of these people! At least let me go down with a team, scout, undercover." Archer nearly rolled his eyes at Malcolm's insistence._

" _I'll be safe! I'll even bring Trip for backup!" He said, and turned back to the viewscreen. *_

That had been the end of the discussion. And it should not have been; he was the chief security officer, it was his duty to keep his captain safe, and he had failed in that duty. Now he had to face the wrath of T'Pol, who seemed to want an answer five minutes ago, actually, scratch that, yesterday. He lifted his head off his arms. Not that he blamed her at all. Not only was Commander Tucker in danger, but her relationship with him was endangering the ship. He pulled himself up, and took another look at the schematics. He had never failed the captain yet, and today was not the first day he was going to. After a moment, something caught his eye. Yes, this could be the answer. And he had… one hour fifty minutes to make it presentable to T'Pol.

Hoshi stood in front of the door to the ready room, and took a deep calming breath. If no one else was going to check on T'Pol, then it was her job. She was a member of StarFleet, an angry Vulcan shouldn't scare her. Or maybe it should either way… before she could even think about it her hand had risen to the comm button, and she waited for T'Pol's response. "Come in." Came the reply; Hoshi straightened her posture, and then entered. What she saw before her caused her to pause. If she didn't know better, she would have thought that T'Pol had just finished crying. Her eyes were green around the edges, and she was sitting rather droopingly in the chair. Hoshi had never seen T'Pol like this, not even when baby Elizabeth had died. There had been no doubt that the loss was unsurmountable, but the stoic Vulcan had not shown a reaction in public. Maybe it would be better if she was left alone.

"Has Lieutenant Reed come up with a plan to rescue the captain and commander?" T'Pol asked, shocking Hoshi out of reverie. She had almost forgotten why she had come, and now she had to answer the one question she would rather not. She hesitated, which was enough of an answer for T'Pol. Hoshi scrambled for words in an attempt to alleviate the situation.

"That doesn't mean that we can't rescue them. We still have …"

"Not enough time." T'Pol said, standing now. "Without having a plan in the four hours, we will not have time to refine the plan. And without refining the plan in time, we will not have time to make a rescue attempt." She placed her hands behind her back in a vise like grip. "And yet we cannot supply this group with the weapons they ask for. It is not up to _Enterprise_ to intervene with a planet's war." They both knew this of course; they had been faced with similar situations many times in the past.

"May I speak freely, Commander?" Hoshi asked, feeling that this was her one opportunity to convince T'Pol to go ahead without a plan. The commander nodded, the tip of her chin dipping. "Maybe they are bluffing, using the commander against you." T'Pol looked surprised in the Vulcan way, which would look like no reaction to a non-linguist. Hoshi held in a smile; what did T'Pol think? That no one on the ship knew about the two of them? Everyone on the ship knew about the two of them before the couple knew it themselves. It was a wide-open secret that no one talked about. "Maybe they have no way to defeat us, and are using the commander's relationship with you to make us think they are a serious threat." It seemed like a light bulb went off in T'Pol's head.

"Then perhaps they will not be ready if we attack before the twelve-hour deadline. They will believe that _Enterprise_ has not be able to find a solution." Hoshi thought this over quickly. She knew that Malcolm was already struggling with the four-hour deadline. And initiating the plan could take even longer than that. But… maybe they could catch these people unaware. They would never think that T'Pol was willing to put the commander at risk.

"I'll contact Lieutenant Reed and see if his plan is ready." Hoshi said.

"Dismissed." T'Pol said. Just as Hoshi's back was turning she heard T'Pol say quietly, "thank you, Ensign." Hoshi did not react, but smiled to herself as she entered the bridge.

Less than a half-hour later the senior staff was standing in front of the main screen. Malcolm's haphazard plan was on the screen. He wasn't completely satisfied with the plan, but it was better than nothing. Travis had his arms crossed, a skeptical look on his face. "How we supposed to know that this plan is going to work anyway? What if they're just waiting for us to ambush us?" T'Pol, who had been standing at the head of the table now rounded it, to stand in front of Travis, her face an unreadable hard plain as she addressed Travis.

"I cannot ask any of you to partake in this rescue attempt. There is a high probability that the attempt will end in failure." She looked around at each senior officer with the same intensity. "I have no doubt that if it were any of us that were the hostages, the commander and the captain would follow through on a plan such as ours. I plan to." None of the senior officers responded. They had taken part in plans hobbled together less comprehensively than Malcolm's current one. Many had been on the receiving end of such a rescue led by Commander Tucker or Captain Archer. On top of this reality was also the fact that this crew felt like they were a family. There would be no way that they would leave one of their own behind. Travis steadied himself and took a step forward.

"You'll need a good pilot." He said. "I've never been one to shy away from a difficult situation." Malcolm and Hoshi took a step forward at the same time. They smiled at each other.

"We're in." They said at the same time. T'Pol's eyes seemed to soften for a moment before she spoke.

"Then it is settled. We depart in an hour for the surface." They all turned, to put all of their efforts in order.

An hour later, they were in shuttlepod two, as the commander and captain has taken shuttlepod one on their original mission. Hoshi was still on _Enterprise,_ monitoring communications on the surface, and was in charge of the bridge while the other officers were away. It had been her idea to stay behind, because she wanted someone on the ship able to help the others on the surface. "Four minutes to landing." Travis called from the pilot's seat.

"Alright, we all know the plan?" Malcolm asked, looking between the others. Travis had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes. They had gone over the plan about a thousand times in the last ten minutes; from the moment they began the walk to the shuttlebay. Malcolm began the speak again, "we'll land about twenty kilometers from the area we know they are holding the commander and captain. Then we will sneak in…"

"And we will rescue the commander and captain." T'Pol supplied, cutting off the lieutenant's rant. Travis chuckled slightly to himself, and looked down at the controls for a second to get himself back under control. T'Pol was getting funnier and funnier by the day. Maybe it was because of the time she was spending with humans, or rather, a particular human, that was making her funnier. Or maybe he had just gotten to know her, and was just starting to understand her sense of humor.

"One minute until landing. Brace yourselves." He called out. The landing was a bit bumpy as they entered the atmosphere, and ground was not solid, as he landed the pod skidded across rocks. He had been more difficult landings in the past however; and was able to get the landing under control in mere seconds. He powered down the shuttlepod and turned to Malcolm and T'Pol. Malcolm looked slightly apprehensive. Who could blame him. This plan was put together like a puzzle missing a few key pieces. But they couldn't put together all the pieces until they they had found the two missing officers. He grabbed his phaser from its holder and gestured towards the door. "Ready?" Travis asked. Malcolm took a stabilizing breath, and grabbed his own phaser. T'Pol's eyes were unfocused for a moment, then her eyes came back into focus, with such determination her eyes seemed aflame.

"Agreed." T'Pol replied, and pulled her own phaser out, leading the way out of the shuttlepod.

XXX

It had been easy to find the tunnel into the facility. In fact, it felt too easy for Malcolm. They had thought they were surprising these kidnappers. Maybe it was the kidnappers who were surprising them. "This feels too easy." Malcolm whispered to T'Pol as they were nearing the tunnel.

"Agreed." T'Pol replied. She withdrew her phaser again, which had been reholstered when they

"It's a little too quiet, don't you think?" He asked, turning 360 degrees. They were now in an open room, with hallways on every side. "Which way do we go?" He asked desperately. Then, he felt a gun tip sitting between his shoulders. He did not have to move to know that his two comrades had guns to their backs.

"I knew you would come." The voice came from behind him, to his right. He recognized the voice from the viewscreen; it sent chills down his spin. This man had somehow known that T'Pol was not going to follow through with the twelve -hour deadline. He had known that she would not risk the commander's life, even if it would mean putting the rest of the crew in danger. "The commander will be disappointed to learn that I was correct."

Travis and Malcolm were shoved into a dark room. The door was closed and locked behind them. There were only two other occupants of the room; who although looked exhausted were none the worse for wear; and were a good sight for the eyes. "Commander! Captain!" Travis shouted, and hugged each man quickly. Even Malcolm could not resist the urge to hug his commanding officers. Trip looked grim.

"I was hoping that I wouldn't have ta see ya guys; no offense." He rubbed the back of his head with a hand. "I was hoping that her Vulcan logic would prevent her from acting out a rescue mission."

"Actually sir, it was her idea." Malcolm supplied, delighting in the commander's surprise. What? Did he think that T'Pol wasn't going to try to rescue the two of them? Malcolm knew that if were T'Pol who was the one missing, Trip would not hesitate for a second to rescue her. He had been present when Trip had to restrain himself from defending T'Pol in situations much less serious than this one.

"Well, I'll be damned." Trip breathed out, blushing when he suddenly realized that he was still in the presence of others. "Wait, where is T'Pol?" he looked concerned. If this had been any other situation, Malcolm would have poked fun at his reaction. Unfortunately, this could be one of those situations that as too serious to ever get a laugh out of .

"They've got her." Malcolm supplied, and watched the blood drain out of Trip's face.

"Well, Vulcan, it appears I have you right where I want you." T'Pol watched him as he paced around her.

"That is an accurate assessment. As I was not in your presence earlier, and now I am." The man chuckled darkly.

"Yes. Commander Tucker said that you would not come. That you would put your crew above anything else. I am lucky that he was wrong, and I was right. That you would put him above anything else." T'Pol glowered at the man, but said nothing. He was right. Her feelings had clouded her judgment. She had put her entire crew at danger.

' _this doesn't seem right'_ Hoshi thought as she sat at her station on the bridge. There was no sign of the officers on the surface, and although they had agreed to radio silence, they should have contacted her already about rescuing the commander and captain. "Sato to Corporal McKenzie."

"McKenzie here."

"Meet me at the transporter with a team in ten minutes. We're going to the surface."

"Understood." She was in charge of the _Enterprise,_ and like so many leaders before her, she was going to rescue those that needed help. "Ensign, you have command of the bridge." She said to a wide -eyed man sitting at the helm. "don't worry," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder "we'll be back before you know it." As the turbolift door closed behind her, she couldn't help but hope that she was right, that they would indeed be back.

"Hoshi? What are you doing here?!" Malcom nearly yelled, as Hoshi pushed her way into the room with a phaser in her hand. Behind her was a team of five MACOS all yielding guns. Hoshi was smiling ear to ear.

"Let's just say that they won't be a problem anymore." She handed the four men their missing phasers. Trip reholstered his phaser, and stood. He looked behind the team as though looking for someone in particular, then looked disappointed. Hoshi knew who he was looking for. "We didn't find her yet commander. But we know where she is."

The man stood over T'Pol, who was on the floor. Green blood was dripping from the side of her mouth. "Still, Vulcan. You will not share with me the secrets of the Vulcans' warp drive? Or their missions to my planet?" T'Pol did not respond, and received another kick to her ribcage. The only sound she made was a grunt as the foot connected with her ribs. "Don't worry Vulcan. Sooner or later, I will get my answer." Another kick, and another. She could feel her façade beginning to slip. No, she could not give in, she would not give in. Another kick. Her consciousness was beginning to slip even as she resisted. Another kick should be coming, but it never did. A loud bang behind her was the clue that her interrogation was now over.

"T'Pol!" She knew that voice. That voice belonged to Trip. So her rescue attempt had been successful. He was safe. Trip crouched beside her and picked her up. He brushed her bangs to the side gently. "We gotta get her back to the ship." He said, barely holding back tears.

XXX

"T'Pol, wake up." The voice sounded distant, as though at the end of a tunnel. "T'Pol, please, wake up." Trip… that was Trip's voice. Now she remembered. Her relationship with Trip had been used against her, and she had let it be used against her. It had almost cost her the life of her colleagues as well as the entire ship. This was an unacceptable consequence. They must call off their relationship before it caused any more damage. She had to tell Trip. She willed her eyes to open; slowly gaining consciousness. Trip was standing over her, holding her hand. "Hey." He said gently, brushing her bangs with his free hand. "it's okay, you're on _Enterprise._ Everyone's safe." She pushed herself up with her arms, with the help of Trip. She began wringing her hands in her lap, uncertain of how to broach this subject. Trip put his hands over her wringing ones. T'Pol took a shaky breath.

"Trip… this… situation has made it clear that our relationship is a security risk." She avoided his gaze, "I believe it would be for the betterment of _Enterprise_ if we end this relationship."

"T'Pol." She still refused to look up at him. "T'Pol." She raised her view a few centimeters so that she could now see his eyes. "We knew that this could happen. This may be the first time, but it won't be the last." He held up a hand to prevent T'Pol from responding. "Even if we weren't together, they could still use my feelings for you against us." He took one hand off of hers to motion, "so why should we be apart and miserable to try to prevent something that will happen whether or not we're together?" T'Pol didn't look convinced. "Look; if someone holds a gun to your head, whether or not we're together, I will do anything to get ya back." T'Pol cocked her head to the side.

"I believe I would do the same for you." She finally answered.

"I'll try my damnest not to have another gun held to my head."

"I will attempt to do the same." T'Pol replied, to Trip's chuckles.

A/N: well, there it is. Let me know what you guys thought!


	4. Chapter 4

XXXXX

" **Being someone's first love may be great, but getting to be their last is perfect"**

XXXXX

Chapter 4

"And then there was, what was her name?" Archer asked, taking a sip of ice tea.

"Lisa." Trip murmured into the rim of his own glass. He felt the eyes of all the occupants of the room on him. Along with Archer, there was T'Pol, and Al'Lin, an ambassador they had picked up on an assignment. The ambassador's ship had had engine trouble on her way home, and was unfixable. _Enterprise_ had been ordered to take her home since they were the closest Federation ship to her.

"I apologize, Commander. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable." Al'Lin said, taking a delicate bite from her fork. "In my culture, it is perfectly acceptable to discuss sexual partners with others." Trip gulped uncomfortably.

Yup, he knew that it was perfectly normal to her. They had just spent the last fifteen minutes discussing the ambassador's sex life. In her culture, individuals were expected to essentially 'sow their wild oats', before settling down. It was expected that each person would have up to fifty sexual partners before deciding to choose one to start a family with. Al'Lin was approaching this time in her life, and that was why she was heading back to her home planet. Of course, this discussion had led to her curiously asking about the habits of the other species at the table. Archer had been more than willing to fill her in on Trip's past experiences, which had culminated in this uncomfortable moment. "That's okay. I'm just not used to people outright asking." He finally replied, feeling his face flush. Archer raised his eyebrows quietly at him. Okay fine, there had been plenty of times over the years that they had outright talked about it, but not in a situation like this.

"For most humans, the average number of sexual partners is seven." Archer said, answering the earlier question that Al'Lin had asked, which had begun the litany he had started. It was Al'Lin's turn to look surprised.

"Only seven? Especially at your ages? In my culture, someone at Commander Tucker's age would have had at least 35 already." Trip said nothing, feeling more and more embarrassed as this conversation continued. Why had he been picked on in this conversation? A gentleman never kissed and told. And he knew for a fact a few stories about Archer that could have them talking for much longer. "When was your first sexual encounter, commander?" the ambassador asked nonchalantly. Trip nearly choked on his bite of food that he had attempted to swallow down.

"Um…" he sputtered out. "um, my first girlfriend was when I was fifteen. But we didn't do anythin' other than hold hands. And that only lasted a few weeks before we broke up. Not even sure we can count that as a relationship." Al'Lin looked confused.

"You, do not have sexual encounters in every relationship you have?" Both Archer and Trip shook their heads while T'Pol, who had stayed silent until this time, took a sip of her tea.

"Um, no, not necessarily. Especially when humans are young." Archer said, scratching the back of his head. "Um, the average age for one becoming… um… sexually active, is seventeen on Earth." Al'Lin's confusion seemed to clear.

"Ah, and that is when the two of you began to be sexually active?" She looked between the two men curiously.

"Um, you know, about…" both men muttered, looking at anything except another person in the room. Al'Lin seemed to accept this answer, for now, and they sat in silence for the first time in twenty-five minutes. That silence did not last long however, as she turned towards T'Pol.

"And you? I have heard that Vulcans' sex life is mostly shrouded in mystery." T'Pol looked slightly startled at this question, but placed her fork down calmly next to her plate.

"We do not discuss it with others." She explained, as though that would be the last of the discussion. She did not seem to comprehend that the ambassador would not give up that easily.

"The men in the room have answered in your presence. It would only be fair for you to reciprocate." T'Pol contemplated this quickly, not wanting to answer, but also knowing that if she did not, the ambassador was more likely to prod into the aspects of her life that she did not wish to discuss. Finally, she dipped her chin slightly.

"Very well. What would you like to know?" Al'Lin seemed shocked that T'Pol had agreed to this inquiry, and had to take a moment to think about what she wanted to ask.

"How many partners do Vulcans have over a life time?"

'oh boy.' Trip thought. That's a doozy to start with. He glanced quickly at T'Pol, who seemed to be mulling over her answer.

"Vulcans generally have one, a bond mate. In childhood, our parents choose our future mate. When Vulcans reach adulthood, we then go through a ceremony to bond us permanently with our mate." Al'Lin lifted an eyebrow in surprise.

"One mate? And you, your mate is on Vulcan?" T'Pol took a calm sip of her ice tea while Al'Lin watched her with interest. Trip had taken a deep breath at the question.

"We were married. It did not work out." Before the ambassador could push for more, T'Pol continued, "It is not usual in Vulcan culture to divorce. However; when a bond cannot form between the intended, the marriage is nullified."

"And this marriage mate, was your only sexual partner?" Al'Lin asked, seeming to be more and more intrigued as the conversation continued. Trip was feeling woozier from her conversation with T'Pol than he had been when he was on the other side of the conversation. He knew fully well that he had been T'Pol's first, and only sexual partner. He knew that she wouldn't be comfortable exposing that information to a perfect stranger.

"No. We never knew each other in that way." T'Pol simply answered, her cheeks gaining a slight green tinge to them as she spoke.

"I do not understand. Who is the one sexual partner you have had, then?" Al'Lin leaned forward. Apparently, this was an entertaining conversation for her. T'Pol remained silent, but cast a glance at Trip that clearly said, 'help me.' He cleared his throat.

"Um, so tell us more about ya're culture. How long have ya been warp capable?" Al'Lin pulled back, looking disappointed.

'Whew." Trip thought to himself. 'that was a close one. But somehow I don't think that's the end of it.'

"Yes, we have been space travelling for three hundred years…."

XXXXX

"Sorry that was so uncomfortable for ya." Trip said, pulling on a clean shirt. "hell, it was uncomfortable for me too." T'Pol did not reply, but busied herself with rearranging the contents of the table in the room, although it did not need to be rearranged. He pushed himself off the bed, and walked over to her, grabbing her hands. "Hey, are ya okay?" T'Pol pulled her hands free of his, and walked around him.

"I am fine" She answered, her back to him.

"The hell ya are." He grabbed her shoulders gently, and pulled on them, attempting to turn her back around to him. "What's goin on?" She looked suddenly shy, and removed herself from his grip. She sat down on the bed gently. He resisted the urge to follow her, knowing that she was about to reveal something to him that she was going to do in her own time. He waited patiently, taking a seat in chair at the desk.

"How many sexual partners have you had?" She asked in a small voice. He was taken aback at that question.

"What?" T'Pol looked up at him earnestly. Trip ran a thumb over his mouth, thinking. What was this all about? Did Al'Lin's line of questioning make T'Pol feel insecure or somethin? He didn't want to answer this question, but she was still staring at him like that. 'damn', he thought, and took a deep breath.

"I wanna say it's around 8. But I mean, I didn't count em or anythin" T'Pol closed her eyes, taking a shuttering breath. "But I mean, lots of em happened before I met ya. They don't mean nothin." He winced, that sounded dumb, even to him.

"And the first?" She asked, her eyes still closed. Why was she asking these questions? He knew that each answer was a stab of pain to her. Maybe it was because Vulcans only have one mate over a life time. He didn't have to think about others touchin her. Sure, she had gotten married to another man, but he knew that they hadn't done anythin other than touchin fingers. She had told him that much herself.

"I was eighteen." He whispered. "she was my first serious girlfriend. At the time, I thought that she'd be the one I got married to." He chuckled. "and well, obviously, that did not work out." He had thought he loved that girlfriend. They had been dating for six months at the point they took the next step. He felt more for this woman than he had ever felt for any one before. But, compared to what he felt for T'Pol, it was a grain of love. All his relationships compared to T'Pol felt like child's love.

"And the others?" She asked.

"Why do you want to know this?" He was starting to feel ill telling her all of this. "What good is it tellin you all of this?" T'Pol only looked at him, with a stare that was devoid of emotion, or thought it looked like. He sighed. "Look, I'm not given' ya details about every single woman I've been with. They were almost all women I had feelin's for, and they all didn't work out. That's all that matters." Her eyes darkened.

"Vulcans only have one partner over their life time. Sexual partners are never discussed."

"Yeah, well I'm guessin that ya didn't tell Koss about your first sexual partner." He jabbed, his temperature rising. T'Pol stood up from the bed quickly. "If ya had not made me fall in love with ya, ya wouldn't have to be worried about my other sexual partners!" Trip now also stood, feeling his anger reaching dangerously high levels.

"Perhaps I should have followed my culture more closely." She answered coolly, and turned on her heels, making her way to the door.

"T'Pol." He reached a hand out, feeling the anger drain from his body. But she had already exited his room, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He was a dumb ass, he concluded, plopping down on the chair he had abandoned.

XXXX

T'Pol kneeled over her meditation candle, attempting to concentrate. Her thoughts drifted towards Trip unbidden. It was the first night in months that they had not shared a room, and it was disquieting to her. Al'Lin's line of questioning had bothered her more than she liked to admit. Sighing with defeat, she opened her eyes, and blew out her candle. It was not as though she did not know that he had had several sexual partners. Humans were known to satisfy their carnal desires. Trip was an impressive specimen, and she knew that women were interested in him sexually, as she had seen on _Enterprise._ She was unsure why hearing this information out loud was more disturbing to her than simply knowing the information. She pushed herself off the floor. Perhaps it was because he was her first sexual partner, that she had not pictured him with any other woman. She could not picture him with any other sexual partner, although the images forming in her mind were growing more disturbing. Images of Trip laying in the arms of faceless women were forming in her mind. She had hoped that meditation would suppress these images, but it had only made her focus on these images in more detail. She could now see the caresses, hear the murmured words of arousal and love. She shook her head as though trying to dispose of the images and sounds, and made her way to the sink in her bathroom. She splashed the water on her face, taking a shaky breath as she looked at herself in the mirror. She had to pull herself together. A Vulcan should not be experiencing this turmoil. She shook her head again, and took a deep breath. Perhaps a few hours of sleep would do her some good.

XXXXX

It was late, and Trip found himself in the mess hall, slouched over a half-eaten piece of pie. Sleep seemed to be evading him. After an hour and a half struggle, he had given in. He blearily ran a hand over his face. He was such a dumb ass. He should have just answered T'Pol's questions instead of taking that jab at her. He knew it was a sensitive topic. She had abandoned much of her own culture just to be with him, and here he was, throwing it back in her face. But why did she want to know so much detail? She knew that she hadn't been his first, why did she need to know more than that? The door to the mess hall opened, and Al'Lin stepped in. She did a cursory look around the room, and spotting the commander, made her way to his table.

"May I?" She asked, gesturing to a seat across from him.

"Be my guest." He motioned to the chair. "But I can't say that I'll be good company right now." The ambassador sat down, putting her elbows on the table, and putting her hands together touching her mouth.

"I am sorry that my questioning caused such a problem." She said, looking slightly amused at Trip's reaction of lifting his head in shock. "It appears that my questions caused a rift between you and T'Pol." She placed her hands on the table now, her fingers splayed in front her. "she is your mate, is she not?"

"How…?" Trip began. Al'Lin waved a hand dismissively.

"When I was questioning the two of you about your sexual partners, I could sense tension. I'm afraid I did not pick up what that tension meant until it was too late." She said.

"Eh. It's okay. We should've talked about it earlier anyway." He pushed the plate of dessert aside. "We've never really had time to talk about it. Ya know, we got together in a series of strange events." Al'Lin raised an eyebrow

"Didn't have time, or did not make time?" She questioned, causing Trip to flush. He held up his hands defensively.

"Alright, ya caught me. It's just, in human culture, we don't really talk about past partners with the current one. Unless we're talkin' about disease or somethin." In fact, he felt embarrassed just talking about it with the ambassador now.

"I do not pretend to understand your aversion to talking about sex. Sexual pleasure and activity is something to be enjoyed and shared." Just as Trip was about to roll his eyes, she continued, "however; I am beginning to come to an understanding that your species views it differently. I believe that you should attempt to do the same with T'Pol."

"Hey, now!" He said quickly, holding out a hand. "I would say that I understand a lot about her culture! I learned about their marriage culture, and about their mating rituals, and all that!" Being accused of not understanding T'Pol's culture was cutting too deep for him. He had taken the time to understand the bond between the two of them, and even why T'Pol had gone through with the marriage that she did not want to. And here was a stranger that knew nothing of their relationship accusing him of not trying to understand T'Pol's view point. No one on the ship knew her better than he did.

"I am not saying that you do not understand her well. I am saying that you must attempt to look at this situation from her side. She has only been with you, and gave all of herself to you. It is likely that she views herself and you as one. Sharing any part of you will feel strange, especially because of her culture. If she had married a Vulcan, then she and he would have been their only sexual partner. That is what she was brought up to believe. She may have accepted this part of your life outwardly, but learning about it in more detail may have brought up issues she did not realize existed." Trip nodded slowly, absorbing what she had said.

"Ya're right. I should talk to her. But I'm dead tired." He said, standing slowly.

"Have a good night, commander." Al'Lin said, watching Trip leave the mess hall, stumbling a bit in his tiredness.

XXXX

He was surprised to see someone already in his bed when he made it back to his quarters. 'Guess she couldn't sleep without my presence either.' He thought. She must have snuck in a few minutes after he had left for the mess hall. She appeared to be in deep sleep, clutching his sheets tightly in her hands. He sighed. There was no reason to wake her now. He would talk to her in the morning about this. He opened his closet and pulled out an extra pillow and a few blankets. He would sleep on the floor next to the bed for now, just so he wouldn't wake her by crawling into bed next to her. His eyes closed slowly, drifting into the darkness that is sleep.

XXX

When he awoke, it felt like mere minutes. He could tell he was not on the floor any longer, as what was beneath him was softer than the floor. He could also feel the warmth of T'Pol's body next to his. He did not remember moving from the floor to the bed during the night, but he knew he must have. He cracked his eyes open slowly, afraid of what he might find. T'Pol was already awake, looking at him with gentle eyes. She brushed some of his hair aside when she realized he was now awake. He turned his body towards her. "Hey." He said gently. Whatever tension that had divided them the day before was now gone. He felt so at ease in her presence. "Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have said what I did."

"I apologize also. I became emotional." T'Pol replied softly. "I did not expect the ambassador's inquiry to influence me."

"Me either." Trip admitted. He sighed, bracing himself to admit something that he knew was extremely personal. "For humans, talkin' about previous sexual partners is kinda taboo. We prefer to focus on the person we're currently with." T'Pol did not break eye contact with him, although he could see the wheels turning in her head. "And honestly, I don't even think about em. I know that ya might not believe that, but I don't."

"You do not, relish in those memories?" she asked, her tone colored by worry. Trip had to hold back a chuckle.

"Is that what ya think humans do? Relish in sexual fantasies all the time?" T'Pol lifted an eyebrow. "Okay, okay. Ya caught me. But, no, I don't relish in those memories. Just the ones with ya." T'Pol did not look convinced. He propped himself up on an elbow. "Let me think of another way to put this." He scrunched up his nose in concentration. "Every other relationship I've ever had pales compared to this one. And makes me realize that I didn't really love those others like I thought I did. I didn't know what love was until I fell in love with ya." He cringed. That sounded cheesy. T'Pol seemed to be thinking the same thing.

"Trip…" she began.

"I just want ya to know that even though ya're not my first, ya're my last. And to me, that's all that matters." T'Pol finally seemed to understand, and pulled herself closer to his side.

"I do believe that these culture differences will be an issue of discussion for a long time." She said. Trip kissed the top of her head.

"I've known that since the day I fell in love with ya T'Pol. I would rather have these misunderstandings with ya than have none-with any other woman."

"Agreed." T'Pol replied, causing Trip to grin ear to ear.

XXXXX

The senior staff could not lie and say they were not happy to see the ambassador go. Although she had improved on asking people very personal questions, she had made many uncomfortable along the way. Archer, Trip, and T'Pol lead the way to the transport that would take her to the surface. "I apologize for prodding you in our first meeting. I was unaware of the culture of your species. I was simply curious." T'Pol tipped her head.

"I accept your apology. I would however, caution against such prodding in the future." She remarked. Trip bit his lip to prevent himself from grinning. Al'Lin held her hand out to Trip, which he took. She leaned in slightly.

"I do hope my intrusion did not detriment your relationship." She whispered to him. He pulled back, and shook his head.

"It was great to meet you, ambassador. Thank ya for ya're insight." And winked. Al'Lin dipped her head, and gave her hand to Archer before departing. Archer turned to the two of them after the door had closed.

"What was that all about?" he questioned, raising both of his eyebrows.

"Nothin', captain. But if we ever meet her species again, ya can answer the sex questions." Trip replied, and sauntered away, leaving a very confused Archer behind him.

A/N: Of all the fanfiction I've read, they don't really talk about Trip's sexual past. I was curious about how that would go, and this was formed out of that curiosity. Anyway, let me know what you all thought!


	5. Chapter 5

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"… **and if you have never felt like your soul was being torn apart… then you've never loved anyone with your whole heart."**

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Chapter 5

Archer frowned slightly at the message on his screen from Star Fleet command. Considering that Earth was supposed to be a civilized planet, with no discrimination or racism, it seemed a hell of a lot like racism to him. He leaned back in his seat and sighed, stretching his arms out behind his head before leaning forward and angrily banging his fists off of his desk. These two officers had been through their share of difficult times and deserved some peace and quiet.

Maybe he didn't have to tell them about this new development? He frowned slightly, and leaned back again. No, T'Pol would find out in about five seconds, and anything that T'Pol knew, Trip would know. He couldn't hide anything from either of them anyway. Not only because they were his first and second in command, but also because they were his best friends. If anyone had told him five years ago that T'Pol would be one of his best friends, he would have laughed them out of the air lock, and thrown her out behind them. But she had proven to be one his closest confidants, sometimes even more than Trip. And Trip, well, he could rely on Trip not only as a friend, but as a fine chief engineer that could never be replaced.

"Damn it!" he yelled, pounding his fists of his desk again. Why the hell did Star Fleet always make him be the bearer of bad news? Because they knew of the closeness all three felt? Because they felt like the crew was too close? They always made him the villain. Whatever the reason, he knew that they had put him in an inescapable position. He hit the comm next to his desk. "Archer to the bridge."

"Ensign Sato."

"Can you tell me where Commanders Tucker and T'Pol are?"

"They are in their quarter…s, sir." Hoshi replied. Archer could hear the smirk in her voice. Officially they were still living in their own separate quarters. In reality, well... the crew looked the other way.

"Thank you, ensign." He clicked off the comm. He hesitated to reach for it again. On one hand, it would get this moment over with, on the other, he didn't want to talk to them about it at all. Taking a deep breath, he reached for the comm again, and said, "Archer to Commanders Tucker and T'Pol."

"I wonder what the cap'n wants ta talk 'bout?" Trip said as he zippered up his uniform. T'Pol was sitting on the bed, putting on her boots.

"I suspect it may have something to do with the increasing xenophobia marches on Earth." She said coolly. Trip raised an eyebrow.

"How ya know about that?" He questioned, putting his hands on his hips. T'Pol looked steadily back at him.

"Similar ideals are held by many on Vulcan." She pushed herself softly off of the bed. "I have received many letters since the discovery of Elizabeth." She turned her back to Trip, her zipper on her uniform not being fully done up. He reached for the zipper, saying in a quiet voice,

"Ya didn't tell me about any threatening messages." He latched the top of her collar together, and patted it to let her know he was finished. Still facing away from him, she replied,

"They were nonconsequential, I did not want to worry you."

Trip reached a hand out to her shoulder to turn her around. "Hey, have ya been blocking any feelin's of distress from me?" She shook her head slightly, but her eyes gave her away. Without hesitation he drew her into his arms. "Damn it, T'Pol. I know ya aren't supposed to show that ya are afraid or anythin', but ya can't hold it in all the time." He looked at the top of her head, she was stubbornly refusing to look up at him. "I know ya can protect yourself, but let me take some of the burden. That's what partners are for." He felt her slump a little, and then she pushed herself back slightly, although still in his embrace.

"Vulcans do not outright threaten." She said. Trip chuckled.

"But they are superior at veiled threats." T'Pol's chin dipped slightly.

"Some have even suggested that I am a disgrace to Vulcan. That our child and rumored relationship ruins the bloodline of Vulcans." Trip shook his head.

"Seems like Vulcans and humans are more similar than they like to admit."

"Indeed." Trip snuck a quick kiss to the top of her head, and then released her. He squared his shoulders.

"Alright, let's go face the music." T'Pol shoot him an inquisitive look. "I'll explain it later." T'Pol nodded. She left first, as she usually did. They knew that it didn't make any difference if they left at the same time or not. Or if they went into the quarters at the same time either. This was a secret that was known and kept by everyone on the ship. He waited for a minute or two, then followed. He caught up to her just outside of Archer's ready room. "Fancy meetin' ya here." He whispered. If T'Pol was a human woman, her eyes would have been rolling. As it was, he felt what he could only describe as her internal image of her rolling her eyes. Just outside of Archer's room, they stopped. They looked quickly at each other, before Trip reached out and hit the chime.

"Come." Came the captain's weary voice. Sharing one more look, the door opened, and they entered.

Archer sat behind his desk, his hands clasped in front of him. Trip and T'Pol sat in the two chairs in front of the desk. Archer had been staring at them in silence since the entered a few minutes earlier. Finally, he let out a breath that he had been holding all that time. "As you know, it is my personal belief that it is none of my business what my officers do in their private time. Unless they are involved with an insubordinate." He paused. "And Star Fleet feels the same. As long as the offers act professionally, and with discretion, then Star Fleet feels that it is acceptable for officers to be in relationships. Especially now that our missions last years." He stopped suddenly, as though his speech had been stolen from him.

"But…?" Trip asked, with a 'get on with it' gesture. Archer took a deep breath,

"But, the general public does not seem to agree. With the ever increasing publicity about 'Romulans', and genetic avenues into cross-species breeding, there have been several protests. Star Fleet is concerned about the publicity a cross species relationship between officers may bring."

"What do they want us ta do?" Trip said, his tone edged with anger. Archer couldn't blame him. They as a couple had been to hell and back.

"They want this treated with the upmost discretion. No away missions alone, not photos sitting too close together, no rumors floating about the ship. No publicity. They want whatever image of Elizabeth the sects are afraid of, to go away." Trip now stood up in anger. Archer saw T'Pol quickly put a hand on his arm, then quickly let go. He knew it was gestures like this that Star Fleet wanted erased, but he didn't have the heart to tell them so. Trip took a stabilizing breath.

"Star Fleet always spouts the ideal of diversity. 'Bout exploring new frontiers. I know for a fact that despite people hatin' on my daughter, there have been people who finally realized that diversity is beautiful." He said passionately, tears beginning to form in his eyes. "They don't want us to be the poster children, that's fine .But I won't let 'em cower to these sects." A few tears trailed down his face. Archer felt himself well with pride. He turned to T'Pol.

"And you?"

"Many on Vulcan believe as those on Earth do. That the Vulcan bloodline must be kept pure. However, I, and others believe in the IDIC."

"Infinite diversity, in infinite combinations." Archer finished. Her chin dipped. He sighed. "Star Fleet has not forbidden any relationship that exists between you two. Only that we not inflame the situation anymore." Trip rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, keep our relationship secret for the rest of our lives."

"I hope it doesn't come to that…" but Archer couldn't finish the sentence. He didn't know the end goal Star Fleet's commands. "But I will tell you I will do what I've always done. I will fight to make sure that Earth makes first contact throughout the universe, and help racism and discrimination firmly cast from Star Fleet."

Malcolm put his cup of tea on his tray, and scoured the mess hall, looking for his good friend. He wasn't the most observant man, but even he had noticed Trip's crestfallen demeanor the last couple of days. He hadn't seen that look in over a year, ever since he had T'Pol had finally gotten their stuff together. It had to be something serious if all of sudden he looked like a kicked puppy again. He hadn't spotted his friend yet, so he moved between the tables in search of him. He knew this was the time of Trip's break, and even if he wasn't in the mood for eating, he couldn't deny himself a cup of coffee. Malcolm had almost made it all the way to the back of the room before he finally saw Trip, tucked into a back corner. As he made his way closer, he saw that he was indeed right. There was no empty tray of food in front of Trip, but he was slumped over a cup of coffee. Malcolm invited himself to sit at the table, across from Trip. Trip did not react at first, until Malcolm cleared his throat. "Commander, are you alright?"

"Ya asking as a fellow officer, or as a friend?"

"A friend, Trip." Malcolm replied, scrunching his eyebrows together. Trip sighed and leaned back.

"I just thought that we'd gotten more acceptin'. Ya know?" Malcolm raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"You and T'Pol?" Trip looked at him quickly.

"No!" Malcolm put his hands up defensively.

"Sorry, sorry. Now I'm lost."

"I thought that Earth had finally become acceptin' .That we weren't the barbarians that the Vulcans insisted we were."

Ahhh, now he was catching on.

"The protests?" He asked, finally picking up his fork, and taking a bite.

"But the Vulcans aren't any better." Now this was a surprise. "T'Pol said that many Vulcans have been telling her she's shamed her planet. Sounds like they and Terra Prime would get along."

"But that's just a few people, you know that."

"Yeah… but they've got big mouths." Trip said. Malcolm nodded in agreement, taking a sip of his drink. Trip dropped his eyes, almost in shame. "Ya know, I was racist… when I met T'Pol. I didn't wanna call it that, but I was." Malcolm almost choked on his drink, he started sputtering.

"You… racis…. What?" He finally accomplished. Trip shrugged.

"Think about it. I hated all Vulcans because of what some did to the cap'n's daddy. I thought they were all the same. Cold, unfeeling, and just unapproachable. Hell, I threatened T'Pol that one time." Malcolm pointed a finger to cut him off.

"Wait, wait. You were under the influence of a pollen." Trip gestured to dismiss him.

"That's the thing though. When ya aren't suppressed, then ya real feelin's come out. I might have thought I was acceptin', but underneath it all, I wasn't." Malcolm looked away, his thoughts whirring quickly in his mind.

"I think we all treated her like that, didn't we?" He felt a deep twisting feeling in his stomach, and pushed his food away. "We like to act like we're better, but we're really not, are we?"

"Not ta say that T'Pol wasn't racist either. She thought that all humans were stupid, and smelly." They smiled sadly at that. "But we got ta know her. We got ta care about her. We learned about our misconceptions."

"Some began to love her." Malcolm teased, leaning over to nudge Trip. Trip punched him in the shoulder slightly.

"Slowly, I tell ya. So slowly that I didn't even know it until I was there." He now looked down at his hands, blushing. "If I tell ya somethin', ya gotta promise not ta tease me." Malcolm opened his mouth to do just that, but he saw the look in Trip's eyes.

"Okay, I promise."

Trip continued to look down at his hands. "Ya know that T'Pol got married to Koss." Malcolm nodded. "What ya don't know is that is the moment I knew I loved her." Trip looked up at him. "Malcolm, my momma used to say that if your soul has never felt like it was being torn apart, then you've never loved someone with your whole heart. In all my thirty four years, I had never felt that about any woman. Even the ones I really loved." He leaned in, resting his elbows on the table. "But that moment that she told me she was gonna marry Koss, I felt like I was being ripped in two. The moment she went through with it, I felt like half a man. And that's when I finally knew what my momma had been talking about my whole life. I love T'Pol, Malcolm, with my whole heart."

Malcolm stared at Trip silently. He had never heard him spell it out before in such a way. He knew that Trip loved T'Pol, and T'Pol loved Trip, but he never knew the depth.

"And Malcolm, if Star Fleet, the Vulcans, or humans, tries to tear us apart, they'll be hell to pay."

Malcolm had never heard such resolve from Trip before, even though he had heard many pronouncements from him. Malcolm rested a hand on Trip's arm.

"Trip, we won't let them."

Archer was unsurprised to see several of his officers in his ready room. They all had a look of resolve that made his heart overfill with pride.

"How can I help you?" he smothered his smile. Hoshi stepped out in front, although she was not the highest ranking officer.

"Sir, we are concerned about Commanders Tucker and T'Pol. We have heard rumors that they may be forced off the ship."

"And how did you hear these rumors?" He asked, bemused. Hoshi pinked, but her voice did not waver when she replied.

"I have very, very, sensitive ears, captain." At this, he could not help the chuckle that escaped. He stood quickly behind his desk.

"Your sensitive ears have picked up incorrect rumors, Ensign." He made his way slowly around the desk. "The commanders will not be forced off _Enterprise._ This is their home, and they have served her faithfully."

"But…" Travis muttered, standing straight again after his accidental utterance.

"Star Fleet wishes the commanders to be discreet, in any rumored relationship they may be engaged in. Which, we will neither confirm or deny." Small smiles started to form on the officers faces. "We, as part of our mission, is to meet new species, and new worlds. Yes, there are those out there that are violent, but there are also those that have become dear friends." He sighed. "The Xindi didn't stop us from exploring, and I'll be damned if love is going to stop us. We will continue to seek out new life and new civilizations .And prove that diversity is part of the deal."

"Aye, sir." They all replied.

"Even if it takes a while for Earth to come around, they'll get there." He looked around at each of the officers. "Dismissed."

After they left, he sat at his desk, and chuckled out loud. The crew was nothing if loyal. Star Fleet may not like it, but the crew of _Enterprise_ was a family. And families stick together.

Trip and T'Pol sat facing each other over a candle. "I'm sorry, for the way I treated you when we met." Trip whispered. T'Pol's eyes opened slowly. "I'm ashamed of how I decided who you were before we even got to know each other." T'Pol sighed so slightly anyone could have missed it.

"We both underestimated each other." She said. "However, that was many years ago. Vulcans do not dwell on the past."

"Bullshit." Trip said, moving the candle and scooting closer. "I was an asshole. Ya hated me, but we worked well together."

"I did not 'hate' you." T'Pol snuck in. He reached a hand out.

"Okay then, but ya did think I was a smelly, stupid human." She tipped her head slightly at this. "And I thought ya were stuck up, unfeeling Vulcan. Who would've ever thought that two people who had preconceptions about each other, would end up together?"

" I believe, we, as you say, got to know each other."

"If we can do it, why can't our planets?" he asked desperately.

"Perhaps we are ahead of our time." T'Pol replied, a tinge of sadness in her tone.

"Maybe. But we have also seen others come forward, just like us. We are not the first, and we won't be the last." He remembered T'Pol saying that human Vulcan children had never been able to be conceived .That did not mean that no one had tried. "Earth erased discrimination based on skin color, now it is time to erase discrimination based on what planet you come from."

"I believe it took hundreds of years to accomplish that goal." Trip chuckled sadly.

"Yeah, well maybe you'll still be alive then when they end this discrimination." T'Pol narrowed her eyes. He held up his hands. "If ya and I could change in five years, I have a lot of faith in Earth and Vulcan. We won't have ta keep us secret forever."

"Trip, we have already accomplished that goal."

"Star Fleet doesn't have to know that, though." He grinned, and leaned in to kiss her.

A/N: There it is. Sorry for the tremendous wait. I hope it was worth it! Leave a review!


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